Dear Alice, ive been in love with this girl named Allie for three years. I met her on my mates msn and I talked to her, but I failed to mention I wasn't Nathan, I was Brittany. So she feel inlove with me, thinking I was a man. I had to tell her, so about two years ago I told her and she seemed perfectly fine with it, considering that she herself is bi. We're not really as close as we once was, after all, I understand but it still pains me. We talk every now and then, and she lives in another state. I recently found out she was going to fly in, to my state to stay with her aunt and cousin. She told me and I was pumped, I mean I have known this girl and loved her for over three years, and now I could touch and feel her? Great! Well about two weeks ago she told me her cousin was in the hospital, the one she would have stayed with if she flyed in. And a week after that, she told me that she couldn't come. On another note, she went up to see her dad up north, so we stop talking for a while, I mean we talked on the computer and cammed and phoned each other, just not as much. Then she went to stay with her other aunt, and she didn't have computer, so we stopped talking alot, but I still called...Till the point where she was always busy, and we didn't talk much. Anywho~ I understood why she couldn't come...Her and Nathan my best friend talk alittle and she told him the reason she didn't call me much was because it hurt her to talk to me when she knew she wasn't gonna be able to come see me. This girl, hardly lies. We use to talk about our deepest secrets and I KNOW she would tell me if anything was up...Well I think she would, but that doubt only comes from me coming back out of rehab, and talking to her, and finding out she has a boyfriend four weeks later. Anyway. I called her yesterday to see if she was fine, cause again, we hardly talked. And she answered and we talked for a couple of minutes, she said the reason she hasn't called me was again 'it hurts too much' and 'her phones been dead' and 'there's crappy service up here' and... 'ive been hanging with friends' She knows me really well...So she probably knew I was pissed. I asked her when she was gonna go home to Alabama where she lived, and she told me she didn't know she was flying in, I asked where and She said Nashville... I was immediately like 'WHAT?!' But I didn't say that, I just thought that and said 'oh shit' because I recently hooked back up with my ex cause she pulled a major guilt trip over me. Allie told me she had to go she would call me back cause she was in the mall. I said kay, but she never called me back.... I'm only writing because I am extremely worried about our relationship. When she told me she was FOR REAL going to fly in, she didn't say it with much enthusiasm, and practically like she didn't want too, she didn't even say she wanted to see me yesterday.. So she supposedly is flying in today, and I'm worried I'm pushing it too far. I called her yesterday like ten times, left her a voice mail saying 'what the hell is your problem'' and another one this morning 'I'm tired of leaving you messages...' I feel like she's fucking with my emotions, but again she's not the type to do that...My friends tell me to let her go cause obviously if she did care about me she would want to talk to me.. I don't know what to do...I mean I care for this girl, I have for three years.Should I continue trying to talk to her to prove that I won't give up/loose her? Or do I just quit talking to her... thanks in regards. -britt

Well, let's think about this. You and this girl were very close, and all of a sudden started drifting away. Suddenly you feel betrayed and shocked by the things you hear and the things she's doing. So I suppose the real question is: How fair are you being to yourself? She doesn't seem to respect you from the things you're saying.

This isn't really a question I can answer, this is something you need to think about and answer for yourself. So think about it. Do you like the way things are going? Would you believe it if I told you that things will probably continue to be like this unless she has a change of heart? I know you care about her, but it's looking like you should move on to someone who deserves you, and loves and respects you. 

Hope this helps. 

Good luck

-Alice

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