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First off, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is about to turn 18 in a few days. We are both going to the same college this fall and we're both living on campus. The college is not much more than forty minutes max from where we both live (we live in adjacent counties from each other). We've been in a very good relationship for two months now. His phone has some weird issues, so the only way we can communicate is through Facebook every day and when I go to see him a few times a month. His mom knows about us and she's fine with it.
So there's all the background info. Here's my question:
My parents know I'm gay (I came out to the three years ago), but I don't know how they really feel about it, but I think that might be growing on the idea. I am INCREDIBLY secretive about this relationship around my parents (mostly mom, I don't see dad a lot due to his job). I always have to keep an open ear when I talk to my bf on Facebook so I can hear mom coming, and when I go to see my bf I always have to make precise time calculations so that my time frame for my alibi is realistic. I've been secretive about my gay life in general for years, and I'm VERY good about covering my tracks, making convincing alibis, etc. My problem is that I really want to include my parents in my whole life without having to sneak all the time, but I'm very afraid that if I tell them about my bf they'll take away my keys, my computer access, and possibly my phone. All of those things are quite literally the center of my life and to lose those would be truly paralyzing. I'm planning to tell them about my bf when we've been in college for a while, but with an altered story so they won't know that we've been seeing each other since March. I'm telling them then because then there won't be much they can do to me since I won't be living under their roof for most of the year.
Should I follow through with my plan for college or would it be a better idea to tell them now and be honest, with the strong potential to lose a lot?
By the way, almost everyone outside of my family and my older brother know about my relationship and are supportive. Thanks so much!
I can't make this choice for you, but both choices are logical. As much as I admire you for wanting to be honest, I also think that having the things that make your world go 'round and make you happy should stay in your life so you don't go off the deep end. It's very mature of you to want to tell your parents, but if you want to be honest, but keep all of your lovlies, I figure...
Tell your parents when you get into college, and tell them when you two started dating. And if they say "Why didn't you tell us?" tell them the truth. That you were scared.
This, I think, is most logical. Combine them.
Much love, good luck, and write if you need more
-Alice
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