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Lately my mom has been really trying to sort of force me into being a girl. I dress like a guy and feel like a guy and feel much more comfortable that way because I know it's who I am. My mother however tries to change me and get me girly things like I'm just going through a phase or something. It really frustrates me. I've talked to her and tried to get her to understand, but she just doesn't listen. I know she's really afraid she's losing her "little girl" and I don't think she'll ever get over that fear. What should I do?
Well that's quite a pickle, I will admit. Now, if you think you're transgender, that's a scary thing. By this I mean, accepting it, and transitioning is scary, being transgender is not. I bet anything your mom does care about you, but sometimes they're just afraid of what could happen to you.
When you say "she just doesn't listen," I think you're mistaken. I know, you probably hate being told you're wrong. I never said that, please bear with me a bit longer. I think your mother is listening, I just think it's hard for her to think of her "baby girl" as her "baby boy."
What you need to do is just keep talking to her. Let her know how it feels to be you. Let her know how much it hurts when she pressures you to be someone you're not. I know it's frustrating, trust me, but you need to work at it. I know someone who had the hardest time coming out to his/her parents as trans, but once he/she did they were relieved. It's scary, and hard, and just so aggrivating that you just want to scream at them and freak out. If it comes to that, just breathe.
Cliche, I know, but it's what you need. Go for a walk, anything. Just calm down, and continue to talk to her. If this is who you are. If this is how you feel. If your mother loves you, she will understand. That doesn't mean she'll do everything you want her to, but she'll at least try. Give her some time. Try again.
You can't give up on this, you need to continue to show her who you were born to be.
Good luck, and write back if you need more help. Lots of love,
-Alice
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