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hey,
i fell in love w/ my best friend a bout a year a go, and it pains me daily. I for some stupid reason told her how i felt las summer..yeah i got entirely shot down and i know she cares but she just a said "well i love u too"...in like a sisterly love kinda way by her tone and i specified...idk. its just hard to live w/ because, well i live w/ her family. so its difficult for me to move on and im just not sure how to. and i mean is kinda good it hasn't effected out friendship, considering i think she totally blocked it out and doesn't remember what so ever.idk. its just hard for me to move on. and i want to be in a relationship, but i'm scared that i wont be fair to someone f they have feelings for me...what if i don't for them because im still stuck on her.I've tried everything but i just don't know what to do. oh and my other best friend is in love w/ me, and its just really complicated. anyway i just feel like i'm caught up in this web of confusion and feelings and i just don't know what to do anymore, and being an insomniac, this really doesn't help. and because of all this +my living arrangements i feel like i cant be open about my sexuality, and keeping it in is killing me.please help me if u can?
Well first off, I'd like to applaud you on your maturity with the situation. I can't say that I know what you're going through, but I do understand that it is a very hard thing to deal with. It's very smart of you to not get into a relationship with someone while you still have feelings for someone else. I know it hurts to be shot down, and I can't imagine how awkward it must be for you, but you have to let it go. Loving someone is hard, especially if they don't love you back in the way you want.
I recommend finding something to get your mind off of this girl. Something PRODUCTIVE, mind you. It's going to be hard, I will promise you that. But it'll be better in the long run. As for your best friend having feelings for you, that is in fact a pickle. You're going to need to tell them the truth. As much as it hurt you, and as much as it's going to hurt them, if it wasn't meant to be, it's not meant to be. I know you're caught up now, but it will get better. Everything will even out and resolve itself.
I know it's cliche advice, but it's the truth. And even though you feel constricted by your living arrangements, you need to be true to yourself. I don't mean flaunt it all of the time, because that might not be best. But you can't keep it inside. And with the "power" of the internet, you can find someone to confide in. Even if it's just me.
Hope this helps a little bit, and good luck. Come back if you need more advice.
-Alice
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