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I am 16. The love of my life is 23. Help! We have been "together" without being "dating" for 2 years. I feel a really strong emotional connection with her that I just can't feel with anyone else. We are not having sex, and do not plan to put the "dating" title to our relationship until I am 17, of legal age. The family seemed to like her a lot, until they found out the way I feel about her, then my mom promptly tried to throw her in jail for child molestation. Obviously, no evidence was found, and the case was null and void. Normally, I would never go for someone so much older than me, but the moment I saw her, I just knew I couldn't continue on without her in my life, and fate has dealt us some very favorable hands. When we first met, I was with someone, and she was engaged to be married. A year later (though my thoughts of her hadn't subsided, we didn't get phone numbers or anything and had not talked at all) I ran into her again. As it happened, we had both ridden ourselves of relationships and realized the wonderful thing that could lie ahead. Society has been very rude to her about the situation, to say the least, and my mom still does not let me see her. (I do anyway, but keeping up the secrecy has gotten tedious.) In 4 months, I can legally move out with her, and no one can tell us anything, but the issue lies with my family. My mom has gotten psychotic over the years, abused drugs and alcohol, and literally told me I was the devil. But I still love her. She is my mother, after all. I don't know how she will react to this. And my love has told me she wants nothing to do with my family when we are together. I can understand why, but it's still not what I want. And my mom tells me I can be with/talk to anyone I want when I turn 17, if I am still living with her, but I never know what's going to happen to that decision, due to the drugs. I know 4 months will go by rather quickly, and I have no idea what I sould do. ANY advice from ANYONE would be very helpful.
As much as I do agree with the saying "Age is nothing but a number," you have to draw the line somewhere while you are still a minor.
I know you understand the concept of the law, as you have stated. Your mother is not thinking clearly. Her thought process is being fogged with this substance abuse.
In four months, you will be able to make your own choices. The age difference is okay. It really is. While we're this young, it seems a lot, but one day it won't. Don't forget that. Talk to your love. Talk to her about your family and how you feel about them etc. If she really loves you, she might make the occasional exception. And if your family loves you, they will understand how she makes you feel.
Talking always helps. But be smart when you discuss these things, don't become irrational. The things your mother says aren't coming from your mother, remember that. You have time still. Don't get so caught up in relationships. Stay with her, yes. But live the life you have now, and when the time comes, act.
Write if you need more. Good luck.
-Alice
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