Question:I have a girlfriend who I've been with for a year and a half on and off. She lives in NY while I live in Georgia... Well I recently found out that a friend of mine, who I am really close to, likes me. But she also has a girlfriend. I've liked my friend but I put it in a " never happen"  catergory you can say.... We are both happy when we are together... Do you think we should leave our current girlfriends to be together or what we should do.. Cause I really like this girl. And I don't want to screw up...

" One must always have an affair in their relationship; even if it has to be with your partner."-Unknown

Follow your heart.  Lucky for you, while I cannot tell you what to do, I can give you some tips and tasks to help you in the right direction.  Of course long distance relationships are hard. That is obvious. What I would suggest you try is; make a list of your feelings for the girl in New York, and then a list of feelings for the girl you like. Take the lists to heart, and really think about what you'll be giving up, and what  you'll be gaining. Maybe, because the relationship is 'off and on', you two should take some time with other people and see how you feel about each other later. If she really loves you, she will understand and respect your descision. I hope this is helpful to you.

 -Alice

Question: Ok. I've been with this amazing girl for almost a year and 5 months and she lives 2000 miles away. I’m about to move there and go to a college near her house. I’m actually moving in with her and her mom. I’ve met her before but am I being smart about this jus packing up and leaving everything I’ve ever known because I truly love her. I’m scared; is that a bad sign?

Change is inevitible.

That is one thing the mind must understand.

Now, I cannot tell you if this change is right or wrong, for only you can find that answer.

All I  can do is give you some tips, and hope that you come to the answer on your own. Try sitting down, and make sure you understand  most of the things that will be different. Write a list of the 'pros and the 'cons' of moving to be with her. Compare the lists and really take them to heart. Hopefully then, you will have some idea of what to do.

Moving to be with her isn't necessarily a bad decision.  You may end up spending the rest of your life with her, or you may not.  However, the only way to find out is to take a risk.  This girl is obviously very important to you in order for you to make such a big decision.  So I say; go for it!  The worst thing that could happen is that it doesn't work out and you move back home. 

 Alice 

Question: I just broke up with my boyfriend. He's a nice guy and all, but we dont click together, what he likes, i dont, and reverse. Well, I went to one of my friends birthday partys and saw a guy, hes really cute, and I like him. It's sort of a crush. This is the first time I talked to him, and I wanted to see if he liked me. I was gonna ask him, then I found out he has a boyfriend. Well, we talked a lot, and the more i talked, the more I liked him. I got on myspace and sent him a message saying that I really like you, and I think you are cute. If possable, I would like to go on a date sometime so I can know you better. I woke up this morning and checked my myspace and he answered my message. He said that he likes me to, and he thinks I'm cute, but he does have a boyfriend, and he really loves this guy. He would love to know me a lot better, and if things don't work out, he would love to go on a date. Well, when I got home, my friend called me and told me that he and his boyfriend got in a fight this morning after I left. I went to his myspace and it says single. Should i make my move now? is it too soon?

Timing is everything.

Possibly, this is not the right time. If he really feels for this boy, it will take some time for him to get over it. You don't want to seem like you are just going for the 'rebound'. The best thing you can do; in my opinion, is tell him that you're there for him and that you're there if he needs to talk.

If he says something about starting a relationship with you, tell him that you want to give him some time to heal, but you will be there whenever he is ready. It's probably not a good idea to jump right in, because in the end, it will (if anything) just turn out to be a rebound. You should wait for him to get over things before you jump in.

Question: Ok, I started going out with this girl in the beginning of my freshman year when I didn't really know who I was or anything and then I started falling for her. Then in like June I was having doubts again and broke it off with her, then things got really rocky. She said she didn't want to be my friend and everything and it totally crushed me. Then we got back together and she dumped me...over and over again...and I don't know what to do. She told me that she still loves me, but she wanted someone else, but it seems like everytime we're together we get all cuddly and smoochie again. I love her and love spending time with her, but I can't get over her. There's just something inside of me telling me I'll never have what we had before and it scares me. Should I just give up loving her and look for a new love that seems nonexistant or what?

How do you know if you truely love someone?

The answer is simple. If you care about their happiness more than your own.

In most people's opinion, you should never completely give up on loving someone, but if you care about their happiness more than your own, you have to realize you are not making them happy.  You must let them search for what makes them happy, then be happy for them. Yes, I know, it may seem hard to be happy because the one you love loves someone else, but just remember, what's meant to be will always find a way. Who knows, maybe if you let your partner go, they will 'discover' themselves, and come back to you with open arms and an open heart.

Judging by the 'I love you, but i want someone else' statement, it may sound like she has some commitment issues. If you and your partner are having problems about figuring out what you want, and/or need in this relationship, then you may want to try this exercise:

First, sit down with your partner. Start off by telling them how you feel; tell them everything. Tell them the good and the bad. Then, let them tell you how they feel. Make sure you are both blunt, and to the point. Second, tell your partner three [or more] specific things you want, and three [or more] specific things you need from this relationship. Then ask your partner to return the favor by telling you three [or rmore] specific wants and three [or more] specific needs. Hopefully this, can get you on the right track.

Question: She said she loves me, and wants to be with me and stuff. We started dating in April of 2006 and the first time we broke up was in September it last for a month then we were back together, and then we broke up again in February. And now she says theres lots of shit going on, but when she gets her life together we can be together. We have a long distance relationship... But that's not the point. She comes and sees me and wants me to come and see her, and she says she loves me and stuff but when you look at her sites that she has, they all say she loves girls, well yeah i get that. But i mean.... i don't know. I am mad at her sometimes, because she's like i love you, but turns around and says on her myspace she likes Girls alot. and stuff. What do you think? Am i totally over reacting? Because i love her so much, and it's been over a year... Help?

 Relationships are a funny thing, some are bad, some are good, and some are what you make of them. Of course there will always be some insecurities emmiting from one of the partners, and a bit of insecurity is ok. It's the entinisy of the insecurity, and how you act upon it. Some people, are naturally flirtatious. They go through life, flirting with everyone, and when they enter a relationship, they cannot 'stop on a dime' to be clichè. When you go through your whole life doing something, it's hard to stop exactly when someone asks you to. Change, takes time and commitment.  Another common thing in relationships, is anger. Do not be affraid to be angry at your partner, just be careful how you express that anger. There are many negative ways, as there are posatives. Of course violence, emotional violence, physical violence, verbal, ect., are all negative ways of expressing your anger. Try talking to her. Sit down and have a serious conversation about your feelings with her. As to totally over reacting, a bit; there is no shame at being angry or upset with your partner, but remeber to not blow it out of porportion. Think of it this way: sure she does stuff to upset you, purposely or not, and maybe you do things to upset her, that you do not know of. I want you two to sit down, have that conversation. Ask her what she wants out of the relationship, and tell her what you want; don't beat around the bush, be open and frank with each other. Maybe then, you will find what you should do.

Question submitted by: Confused Girl