This is the first time in a long time that I've slept in past about...nine o' clock? Even when I'm sick I wake up a million times and then continue to go back to sleep. I only woke up at 8:45 when my alarm went off.

So like, I need to get back into my good typing habits, as in capitalizing my 'i's and using commas. Right now I'm totally using homerow and it's kinda hard for me. It's taking me about twice a long to type this, and now i've broken free. See, I use the same fingers, the only thing that I don't do, is use my thumb for the space bar. It's wayy to hard to when you type like I do.
MOVING ON!

That was irrelivent, I'm sorry. I've been in the weirdest moods lately. I keep laughing about nothing, I'm like...I don't know. Mom's right, teenagers are fucked up. I hate hormones, and I hate people...well, not really, I hate certain people's actions.

But other people, I loveee. Those are the people that stand by my side no matter what I do, and then like, I can trust them, and tell them my crap, and they tell me their crap. The people that make me feel important, that I'm here for a reason, that I'm not a waste of space, that are proud of me. I love those people.

When it comes to romance? Hate it. It is fucked up. I'm know that one of the reasons I fall for people fast, is because I just want romance, like I want to be able to tell someone I love them every night, and hear it back. Ya know, but MEAN it. Like, when I say it, I mean it.

Like, what I feel towards these people...if it's NOT love, it's the closest thing I've felt, and I'm gonna relate that to it. There are only a few people that have made me feel that way. Rather two.
Crushing is lame. But I do it a LOT. And I'm okay with that.


I just need to grow up and like, get out of Washburn. Get over to the east coast.

Just get out...



I also want to tell you that Tegan and Sara are my saviors. Their music has changed my feelings on evrything. Listen to them.

Their songs flood me. Their music override my blood in my veins, it IS my blood.

Okay, so my girlfriend's mom just came home crying. She was at her brother in law's house, and he was talking to her about how she was gay. (the mom, not my girlfriend). I don't know what he did, but he made her bawl her eyes out. I'm pretty sure that it was like "there's something wrong with you cuz you're gay". Pssh, people anger me so much.

     Today was the third day of "Unofficial Gay Pride Week", and I have been called dyke, homo, queer, faggot, carpet muncher, and a whole bunch of other shit. Hell, I even got asked to make out with a girl to "prove I was gay". A guy told me to fuck him and that he'd turn me. I hate people. I really do. They have no idea what it's like being gay and having to watch your back all the time to make sure no one who hates you for being happy is trying to hurt you. It sucks.

     But I did get encouraging words from a substitute teacher today. After the bell ring to leave, she came up to me and told me "I give you major kudos for what you are doing. I think you are so brave." I just smiled and said thank you so much. She had no idea how brave I was actually being. No. Idea. I've been wearing rainbows, signs that say "Love is love", "Love is tender and knows no gender", etc. And all the signs say "Gay Pride!!" So yeah. I'm basically putting my life on the line every time I tell someone "yeah, I'm a lesbian." so yeah....

     There isn't really much to say now. So I'll go now...