Ok, so eventually I'll write a blog that talks about the happy things in my life instead of all the negativity (or should I say pessimism for my boy). For the summer term, I took out loans to pay for school as well as cover some additional expenses later in the summer. So I'm taking two classes, Personality and Human Growth and Development, and I decide that I don't like the second one so I was going to drop it. I fill out the paperwork and take it to the proper place and I'm informed that if I drop down from two classes to one, then I will lose my financial aid. Well this sucks, especially since I've already missed a test and lots of group activities (since I had made up my mind to drop the class). Well there was nothing that I could do except keep the class, make the F, and get the financial aid. Well I find out today that because I haven't been coming to class, my loans were sent back! So I'm going to talk with my professor today about what happened. According to the financial aid advisor, it is not the F that is going to prevent me from loans, it's attendance. So, logically, if I start going, then I should get my loans right? Well if my professor will allow me to attend class, then all is well. It's not like I'm asking her to do me any favors. I know I will fail the course because she doesn't allow make up work, but I can still go to class right?

My next blog will be happy I promise! haha.

Well I got the music for the choir practice I was talking about in my last blog. The music is easy, but I'm having a really difficult time keeping pace with the director. It's like I'm supposed to know exactly when to slow down or speed up before he instructs the choir to do so. I have no idea what he wants from me and it's so frustrating. Yesterday in practice I was getting so upset because I would be giving the sections their pitches and he would say, "No Chris! That's a D-flat." Very abruptly I replied, "I know, I just simply hit the wrong note." I mean I told them all from the beginning that I'm not a professional and heaven forbid I made a mistake...I'm a math and psychology major...I know my shit, don't make me look and feel stupid in front of the choir members you know? My stomach is in pieces dreading practice this afternoon and all the sessions that follow till the middle of the month. This sucks.

So yesterday I get a call from my friend asking me if I would be willing to be the pianist for some summer program starting this monday. I said that I would love to, but that I needed to see some of the sheet music first to make sure I was even able to play it. I mean if only Rachmananoff can play the mess, then I've signed up for the wrong thing. Well I get a call later that day from educational office of my college. They want an answer from me now whether I will play. I tell them that I have to see the music first. Well before I know it, I've signed a contract agreeing to do the work and get paid and I'm freaking out because I know not how difficult the music is. I mean I will have about a half month to prepare, but on June 16th, they are going to be recording a live performance. If they only know how many sour notes I'm going to be playing. I can't get out of this now since I've signed, but I'm so scared I'm over my head.