Ok so I'm debating on wether I should come out now or wait till I graduate high school. I hate having to hide and stuff, but I also don't want my family to hate me, at least not until I don't have to see them everyday. And I want to actually date a girl before I come out to anyone, so what should I do?

Try to hint on being gay and see what your friends and family think about it. See there reactions. That's what I did, my parents know that I'm bi and love me for who I am. Hopefully your friends and family will do the same. I think your parents should know that you're a lesbian before you try dating a girl, because that's just another thing to hide. It may not always seem like it - but the more that is known by others - typically is better.

But that's just my 2 cents

My mom is a southern babtist though, and so is the rest of her family. So yeah they'd burn me alive and I have done that, some of my freinds call another one of my frineds gay and I asked my mom what to do about it and she said to stand up for him, she also said that he wasn't gay becuase if he was she wouldn't let me be seen in public wiht him. So thats a pretty big hint.

And well everyone knows softball player are all just a little gay, whether they realize it or not, and we all joke around about it but when we really sit down I know a bunch of the players like are very... rude, lol. I just don't don't know what to do. It'sn otl ike livingi n the north where everyone expects you to be different. Down here it's not. Your either the same or your burned alive. It may not bel ike that everywhere in the south, but we've had lesbians at my school before and they were not treated well.

Ok to say that its not like that "up north" and its definently like that "down south" is a huuuuuuuge stereotype/generalization..i agree some places in the south may be harder than up north but there are places up north just as un-accepting as down south..

second..i have been to a few places down south and have many friends down south where being gay/lesbian/and whatever else...has been totally accepted granted there are always people who will hate you for it..but not EVERYONE..and remember that its not only you...i bet there are many others that are just as afraid as you...try telling close friends...then family..it helps to have support first before u tackle the big one like family.

but i would say...do what u feel you are happier to do...regardless of whats easier..it may be easier to be in the closet but is that what you want?..or maybe you dont mind being in the closet and can handle it till college...but..maybe not..no ones but you...

i try to tell myself...what ever i say to myself in my head is what i really want regardless of my actions or what happens...so..what is that conversation saying in ur head...

and dont think im crazy we all do it...its our subconscious...so seriously in ur head while reading this...are u saying "i should come out ..but"....or are you saying "i shouldnt come out but" if ur saying "i should come out but im afraid what they will say or think or feel or react" then u answered ur question and u should come out...but if ur saying "i shouldnt come out, but i hate being in the closet" then ur not ready...because...i believe with every inch of me our body knows us and if we are saying we should or shouldnt without thinkin of the buts...then we would be happier...(at least i think so...but good luck and let us know what happens...remember were all here for you too..so at least u do have some support.)


what ifs will kill you..so dont think too much of them.,...speaking from experience!

Lol, thanks, that actually makes sense.

And yeah I know it's a steryotype and thats why I said not all of the south might be this way but I know my town. It's pretty small, and narrow minded, lol.

I told my frind today, and tried to look confident but she laughed at me. She thought I was joking about it and then well the cheerbitches came along and I couldn't say that I wasn't playing, lol.

And no offence to any cheerleaders, some of my frineds are cheerleads but thats what we call the 3 or 4 of them that are stuck up.

I came out in grade 11 to my friend, and then by the time I graduated all my close friends and family knew. Personally, I'm so glad I did; even with just one close friend knowing, it gave me an outlet to vent my frustration, and someone to be real around. During the first two years of High School, I was pretty depressed, negative, and introverted, but as soon as I started telling my loved ones (those are the only ones that HAVE to know; only tell people that you care about, because those are the only ones that matter (the whole "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind, don't matter" type thing), I became instantly, SO much happier, and so much more social and extroverted, it was amazing. But, this is coming from the perspective of a gay man, as opposed to a gay woman, and our family situations sounds different; my family is very accepting and loving, and you sound like you're doubting your family's acceptance.

I suggest thinking it out in your head, what you value most at the moment; Is it your self appreciation and self acceptance, or your close ties to and acceptance from your family. It's a personal decision, so don't let anyone push you in either direction; think it over, and do what you feel deep down, is best

Best of luck.