i wrote these poems over the course of 3 weeks for a girl i loved and now hate

My hand longs to hold yours
my lips long for your kiss
which is why my heart cant stand you moving to kansas
you are more beutiful than a dove
and you are my true love

her critique for that one was "next time you want to kiss me be less obvious"

i want to take away your anger and sadness
and in return give you only happiness
but that is as impossible as a monster in lochness
because soon you will be in kansas
and i will never get to feel your kiss

i gave her this along with a stuffed elmo i won at the carnival. then after we had just talked after school she started dating a guy THE SAME DAY

anytime i se you im happy
the exception is when you are with him in which case i feel crappy
i know the poems were sappy
but why would do something that you know makes me unhappy
i know the ugliest thing is jelousy
but thats what i feel when you and him are all i see
i gave you my heart and you crushed instead of setting it free
i guess that is loves fee

she never saw this one and probably never will


Post edited by: emily_the_strange, at: 2008/07/20 11:03

Hey these poems are good. You should try posting them on the poem page under "creativeSMACK" up top too!

thanks
one guy said they sucked and the wording made him want to hurl
how do you submit something on creative smack

Post edited by: emily_the_strange, at: 2008/07/22 07:11

Hey Emily,
You can post the poems under "creativeSMACK" by hovering over the creative smack link up top and clicking on the drop down that says "poetry" once you're on that page, there will be a link at the top that says "submit poetry" it will then take you to a page where you can enter and save your stuff. You can enter all three items together or seperately if you want. I hope that helps!
Thanks,
Rachel

how do actually post it though i know where to go to submit it but how do i post it

Hi Emily,
When you hit "submit" it should automatically post. If it hasn't... it might be a setting that isn't right. I can check that out if that's happening. Let me know!
Thanks,
Rachel