I am bi and I have a boyfriend, but I have these deep feelings for my ex, who is my best friend, who is gay. We dated my freshman year in HS and now it's our senior year and I just have these unanswered questions that always bother me. Like what would it be like to kiss him? And stuff like that. I don't know what to do or why I'm having these thoughts. I asked my friend if he was bi (mostly kidding) and he assured me that he was just for guys...and I know that it would never be smart of me to just kiss him some day while we are hanging out because he would freak out on me and not even know what to think. I don't nessecarily want him to like me like me I just wonder why I feel this way. I love my boyfriend dearly and we have been together for two years, but this isn't the first time I've felt this way about my best friend since Freshman year, I had these same feelings right before he came out to me.

What the heck is wrong with me?

Coming home from a band competition I was sitting with him and I decided to go to sleep so I cuddled up with my blanket in the seat and fell asleep. I woke up once to ask him where we were, and we were almost home, so I went back to sleep and when I woke up again he was laid next to me cuddling close to me sleeping. It was a feeling I have never felt before.

I must be totally fucked up!

Someone help me find some sort of solution! If there even is one to be found...

<3

No you're not fucked up. you just love your best friend!!!!! if he's gay, then you have to find a way to move on from him. If the feelings are only causing you pain, then you may need to distance yourself from your friend, easier said than done i know. But he's gay, and somehow you need to find a way to deal with that fact. Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with your friend, explain to him everything you are feeling. Then you two can start to work on this situation together. You can't make yourself not love someone, but you can take yourself away from the situation. Just keep your head up and listen to your heart. things will work out for the best. hope i helped!!!!!

ok as ur other friend i knew this was coming. but ur NOT "in love" with him just b/c you want to kiss him. you just want to know what it is like. you guys dated but never kissed that is this whole thing is about. seriously you are to obsessed with YOUR BOYFRIEND to actually be in love with anyone but him. trust me, just from watching you and aaron i know. ugh. anyway you know he is the one you are in love with. not the gay friend